"Azren, Are You Ok?"
Yes. My emotional fluctuations live within a framework of gratitude and a love for life
Earlier today, I felt stressed.
I had 109 emails as well as numerous messages on Instagram + Facebook.
I had to prepare a few lessons using my new experimental, accelerated learning strategies.
I had an unknown number of students who needed to be billed.
I realized that there was a document I was going to send out to my instructors last month, but it had slipped my mind completely.
I had two people waiting on me to send them information about customized curriculums and pricing for their particular learning needs.
I had to wipe the counters in the kitchen.
My sister was in the other room while I was working. I wanted to spend time with her.
To be clear: I’m doing ok. Haha.
People have asked me recently if I’m feeling sad or down. The truth is that sometimes I am. However, I’m not always feeling that way. An entire spectrum of emotions courses through me every day. For example:
This morning I was…
Unfocused for a couple of hours…
Then in a state of flow while teaching for 3 hours…
And finally excited about how well the classes went and a few insights I learned that would make me a better teacher.
This afternoon I was…
Highly present and one with my emotions while making a YouTube video, spilling my heart out…
Then a little frustrated because of a miscommunication…
Then proud of myself for succeeding in making a small improvement in an experimental accelerated learning lesson I’ve prepared…
And finally upset with myself because I felt I was incredibly abrupt and likely rude with someone on Zoom today who wanted to collaborate with me on a project. I realized that I have a habit of doing this with certain types of people. I am going to make a conscious effort to stop doing this.
This evening I was…
Stressed because I had to do some administrative work I don’t like…
Then overwhelmed because my sister was upset about people ringing the doorbell constantly for Halloween…
Then joyful when I got to sit down with my family for dinner and watch some TV…
Then scattered because I felt I had too many things to do…
And finally calm because I made a list and began working on it.
With that said, my emotions are all encapsulated within gratitude and a love for life.
My life could be worse. Way worse. I feel I could create a list of literally one million ways it could be worse. Maybe more. I’m grateful beyond belief that I can create such a list.
My emotions fluctuate throughout the day, but everything that happens is contained within goodness. My emotional well-being is stable. No need to worry :)
Thanks for reading this post. If you have any comments or questions, let me know at https://azrenthelanguagenerd.com/contact