Last week, I went to a networking event hosted by a francophone organization at a local distillery. I ate delicious appetizers, met friendly people, and had a lot of fun. The cherry on top was that the distillery owner was francophone himself and gave us a tour of his facility in French. Here are some pictures.
My Brain on Overdrive
I have a near-native level of proficiency in French. I can usually pass as a native speaker and was frequently asked by the event attendees some variation of, “when did you move to Canada from France?” Despite my high degree of proficiency, the event was mentally exhausting for me because I haven’t been surrounded by a large group of native speakers for a number of years. I had to think much harder than usual in order to communicate well and understand everyone over the noise of music and background chatter. It didn’t help that the attendees were from multiple francophone regions and had different accents. Such an event would not have tired me out in the past, leading me to feel like I was out of practice.
Varying the Ways You Practice
The irony behind me feeling this way is that I speak French almost every day with my students and the francophone instructors on my team. Clearly the current conversations I have are only sufficient for general maintenance. They are insufficient for communicating without mental strain at a francophone networking event.
Let me explain this in another way. I use my first language (English) on a daily basis with people such as my team of instructors, students, friends, and family. Additionally, I adjust the way I interact with the aforementioned people depending on the social context. For example, I spoke with my Gujarati instructor completely differently when attending her paint night a few weeks ago compared to how we usually speak in work-related meetings. This goes to show that our speech is influenced by who we speak to, what we’re discussing, and the social context of the conversation. Nowadays when it comes to French, I talk to a limited number of people about a limited number of topics and in a limited number of social situations. I don’t even consume content (e.g., videos, podcasts, books) in French on a regular basis.
Is it any surprise that I had to concentrate more than usual to communicate fluently? I think not.
Social Anxiety and Foreign Languages
Being with native speakers of my target language sometimes makes me self-conscious. This results in a decrease in overall proficiency and an increase in awkward behaviour on my part. For example, in 2015 I was laughed at by a cashier when buying potato chips in Beijing. I was very nervous and consequently my sentence structure was terrible. I would try to say something like, "I don’t understand” in Mandarin and would end up saying something quite unnatural like “I not understand do.” The cashier thought my Mandarin was so funny that he even called his friend over to hear me speak. I had a similar experience in São Paulo when trying to order a Coca Cola with no ice using Portuguese (the cashier thought the word I was using for ice was comical for some reason) and in Vadodara when trying to order food at a movie theatre using Hindi.
Another time in Taipei, I had a slightly embarrassing incident in a restaurant. At that stage in my Mandarin learning journey, I used to feel self-conscious about my reading abilities and didn’t want strangers to know that I was a poor reader. Therefore, I would frequently walk into restaurants without looking carefully at the restaurant name or menu because I preferred that nobody notice long it would take me to decipher Chinese characters. Next, I would either ask the waiter if they had any vegetarian dishes (I don’t eat meat) or order the first vegetarian item on the menu that I could read with my limited Chinese character knowledge.
Unfortunately, this once backfired on me when I walked into a steakhouse and asked if they had anything vegetarian. Oops. The waiter looked surprised at my question, but quickly composed himself and offered to make me spaghetti. It wasn’t until I started eating that I noticed that the name of the restaurant literally had the word “steakhouse” in it. I apologized profusely afterward and thanked them for making me something that was not on their menu.
One Tip to Avoid Freezing Up and/or Social Missteps
Unlike when I was in Beijing, Taipei, São Paulo, and Vadodara, I was able to stave off anxiety to a great extent at the networking event last week despite my French being rustier than usual. I was instead just in a heightened state of alertness. Perhaps I acted a bit awkwardly from time to time, but that happens to the best of us even in our first language, so I didn’t think much of it.
I think one reason I was able to keep my emotions under control is that I have observed hundreds of native French speakers in a wide variety of social situations. This means that I can access my memories of previous experiences with francophones and emulate a native speaker’s behaviour and speech, making it less likely for me to freeze up and/or act like a fool.
For example, while at the networking event I was consciously emulating the speech and behaviour of a friendly French lady I know named Martine. Thank goodness I have spent enough time with her to successfully channel her spirit! It allowed me to keep most of the anxiety at bay, avoid freezing up like a deer in the headlights, and act at least somewhat naturally. If I had been unable to emulate Martine’s behaviour the other night, I’m sure I would have made more social missteps and been far more maladroit than I was.
Best Practices
To summarize this article, most of the language learners I have encountered do not spend much time with native or advanced speakers of their target language, nor do they consume a lot of audio/visual material (i.e., videos, podcasts, radio, or music) to get accustomed to how native speakers express themselves in different contexts. Most language learners I have encountered also only use their target language with a limited number of people about a limited number of topics in a limited number of social situations.
For anyone who is committed to reaching a high degree of proficiency as efficiently as possible, these are errors to avoid. Instead, do the following in your target language:
Make at least one friend who is a native or advanced speaker. Interact with them regularly. Internalize their behaviour and speech so that you can emulate it. This individual can be an online or in-person friend. You can make this friend by hiring a private tutor (a tutor will frequently become your friend), joining Facebook groups or Discord servers with native speakers, or using an app such as HelloTalk or Tandem.
Take every opportunity that you realistically can to interact with other native speakers, especially in groups. Successfully communicating with a group of native speakers is not as easy as having a conversation 1-1. Maximize the number of people you talk to, the number of topics you discuss, and the number of social situations in which you interact with each other. You need to become socialized by a large number of native speakers in your target language the same way you became socialized by your family, friends, and teachers in your first language.
Consume as many different forms of audio/visual material as possible. Listen to podcasts and music. Watch shows, movies, and videos on YouTube. Follow content creators on social media.
I understand that some of the best practices shared above might be hard to follow, particularly for introverts. If you are in this situation, focus heavily on the 3rd point. Consume some content that is slightly above your current level and some that is designed for native speakers. This strategy can compensate for the other two best practices to a great degree.
With that said, I would still encourage you to follow the other two best practices, even if it’s just to a certain extent. There is something almost magical about having real-life interactions with native speakers. It simultaneously expedites the learning process and makes it far more meaningful :)
Thanks so much for this article. While limited in number and long ago, I can relate personally to the embarrassing moments - like it was yesterday. Maybe on this 4th or 5th attempt to learn a second language I'll have an opportunity to create new embarrassing moments :-)
Thank you for this article. I admire your courage for putting yourself in circumstances where native speakers laugh at you, and then sharing these experiences! Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone! May your example give me courage to do likewise.